Silence

“Why do we fall, Bruce?” 

I’ve reached some quiet time today when I was editing my story, so while I contemplate how to use it, I am going to post about what’s been going on.

Yesterday, I watched all of my comic book/sexy main men movies to occupy my whirling mind.  Van Helsing, Hellboy, Batman Begins.  I lost use of the tv because I had been watching movies from around 1:30 to 8:oo.  So, they told me I should do something else besides watch tv.  I was watching these movies to help my writing, though, so it was all for two good causes: to make me stop thinking, and to help my villains.  I need to work on my antagonists because I am so uninterested in them. 

My writing has officially begun to take on aspects of my current anger and anxiety and distress.  William has become really angry, and I don’t want to write him because I don’t know what he’ll do, and if he does the wrong thing…I’ll have to change the whole plot.  Rebecca has become somewhat weaker, becoming my softer side that I try not to admit having.  I’m in the quiet time of my edit, and she is elaborating on the freedom that I have just given her, and she has no idea what to do with it.  I have no idea what to do with it. 

I’ve been listening to Moulin Rouge soundtrack for the past two days while trying to recuperate.  I can’t sleep, and when I am, I have freaky dreams that usually end up with me disoriented and ready to cry at about three in the morning.  Not to mention I keep forgetting to turn my alarm clock off, so it’s like going off at 6:10 in the morning and I can’t go back to sleep.

I have resigned myself to the world of Rachel Morgan, Kim Harrison’s novels.  It’s my alternate reality, and I spend a lot of time there, because Rachel can always kick some ass to make me feel better.  But, unfortunately, I’m reading the saddest book, so by the time I get to the end, I’ll probably be crying, but hopefully by the time I get to the end, it won’t be as bad as the first and second time reading it.  It was awful.  I did cry.  I am getting a mourning arm band for the character that dies in this novel, and I’m excited.  I’ll put up a picture of it.  I’m also hopefully getting the toe tag that Rachel gets because they thought she died in a boat explosion in the third novel.  Good stuff.

Rachel Ramxpage and I were having a “people free weekend” but that’s becoming harder and harder.  I want to call her, but I know that’s she been really irritated with everyone lately, but I don’t know if I’m included in that everyone category.  She was very supportive though, and I know that she wasn’t irritated with me all day.

I should be editing my Students 2.0 submission, but Lindsay hasn’t contacted me yet–we’re going to do it through AIM.  I don’t know what the time difference is, either.  So, I’m waiting for that.   I need to do some writing–it may keep me from thinking.

“So we can learn to pick ourselves back up.”
-Thomas Wayne, Batman Begins