I don’t understand the concept of clearing your mind. I just don’t; I can’t even explain it. To me, it’s like trying to understand what eternity is like. I cannot conjure that “white wall” of nothingness that symbolizes a blank mind. It is almost impossible for me.
I have been trying to conjure that perfectly white wall all freaking day. Because I dwell on lots of stuff, but right now I can only think about one thing, one person and it’s…killing me. I get this soaring sensation in my stomach; so I’m trying to sit in class and concentrate, but my mind is definitely somewhere else. Makes it hard to take a test when I’m smiling about something he said or trying not to count down the minutes until I get out of class. Reintroduce the soaring sensations in my stomach. Ugh.
Especially since I have a temper, that damned white wall would be useful if it would a-freaking-ppear. In Taste of Night, Tekla has the troop trying to make and destroy walls with their minds. I cannot do either of them. (Of course, I’m talking figuratively, because no one can do that.) In the same book (through the whole series), I find myself confused by the Tulpa, unable to understand. How do you get your mind around a being solidified by thought, not science? By birth from a mother? Confusing, that is. 
I guess we can’t understand everything.
I’m still having soaring sensations. Catch you guys later.
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