I am usually known as the girl who aces all of her classes, or I get tagged with the ever popular teacher’s pet label. I don’t know what makes me strive to be the best in my classes, whether or not it is the satisfying sight of the number 100 on various papers in various colors, or whether it is the proud words from teachers. It bothers me sometimes when people in my classes freeload, and I am the one they are freeloading off of, because while I put thought into it, they didn’t. That doesn’t make me feel great, like it used to. It used to make me feel smart and good because I could do the paper and they didn’t even bother trying.
I think that high school has really gotten to me. I have so much work and I have very little time to enjoy the things in life I should be paying attention to. I am missing my sister growing up, by going to school and coming home and studying for hours on end to fail my tests anyway. My AP world history class is hopeless, and I know I have an 85 in a college level class, but honestly, I don’t think it’s worth it. I don’t think doing everything in your power to get into college for as little as possible while having no free time to spend with your family is worth it. I am sorry. My parents want me to be successful, but they have always maintained this: “You guys are just kids.” Some may not agree with them, but I do. We are just kids, and I personally am about to buckle under the stress of all these tests that I study for day after day and still fail. People shake their heads at the dropouts, but some people can’t handle the emotional trauma of high school and trying to get into college.
Not that I would drop out. It would be a waste to go through the thirteen years of school (yes, I’m counting kindergarten) and then stop and try to make a living off of a GED. I wouldn’t want to throw my education away. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the knowledge. I don’t like the measures that we have to take to attain knowledge. Why do we have to confirm that we learned everything? To what purpose? Kids spend their whole lives being analyzed and tested. And we have so many problems because of it. Some kids just don’t absorb stuff. They have to have time to study, and studying for hours is not worth it. Being analyzed and tested and reduced to a number or a rejection letter has taken its toll on America and I am interested to see what we come up with next.