I was trying to revive a story yesterday, and after twenty minutes, I looked at my paper and there was a cluster of red dots, one for each time I had touched my pen to the paper while trying to decide on my first word. Reviving this story is going to be like coaxing a forest fire from a single ember. Possible, but excruciatingly difficult.
Red pen is my utensil of choice. Sometimes I’ll use black and blue, but I have to write with those colors every day. (I refuse to use pencil except on scantron tests; I even use pen for math.) I see red. Not physically, but in my mind, red stands out. That’s why I use it. It’s bold, it’s different, and reading my stories in red makes them seem better than they really are, if that makes any sense. It does to me.
Have you ever gotten so many compliments from people you know and became suspicious? Like your writing wasn’t as good as they say it is? I was talking to Ramxpage and she was telling me about how much she liked “Silver and Lead?”, a short story I wrote for her as a birthday gift. I know Ramxpage wouldn’t lie to me about that, and then Ramxpage’s mother liked it, so I am wondering if I’m really that good or really that bad.
I take pride in my writing if it deserves it. I mean no writer can ever write perfect. You will always write some crap. It’s a 100% thing people. Even though I am proud of it, I am really scared of sharing. I hate disappointing people, and if they don’t like my writing…That’s why I refuse to join the writing club at school. I have to get up and talk in front of people. Two of the things I fear most: public speaking and people not liking my writing. It really, really scares me. I would love to join a writing group; even start one, but I am fairly confident that my writing style is quite a bit different than what people I know write. I write about what I know, but it gets filtered though the supernatural and the relationships that my characters have to deal with.
It also doesn’t help that I refuse to read teen novels. Something about them really bothers me. Probably the whiny characters, dull plots and the…blandness. I would have to tone down my voice to write the normal teen book. It just sums like those writers are confined. anyways I like reading series of books because I know the end isn’t anywhere in sight.
That’s my piece on my writing, for now. I’ll check you kids later.