When I look at a lot of the blogs I have recently started to visit, I get really, really intimidated. Maybe not so much by the posts–which intimidate me sometimes–but the comments. These people sound so intelligent and I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about! It makes me look like a fluff when I sit there, trying to figure out what they’re saying when it is really one of the simplest things in the world. The comments I was just trying to read on Students 2.0 made my eyes wide, because I was going to comment. I was so scared of sounding like an idiot that I just refrained from saying anything whatsoever. Like that quote by Mark Twain: “It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”
This is what I feel like in the cyber world. My comments are usually just quirky little things to bring smiles to people’s faces, but when I look at others’ comments, I lose my train of thought, and my palms get sweaty. I don’t want to look like an idiot to these people.
I was talking to the Shield–my favorite teacher’s anonymous name–about the technicality of a lot of these people’s blogs. It’s so technical to me sometimes I can’t even comment, because I don’t even know what’s going on in the first place.
When I was writing my post for the Students 2.0, I was pretty satisfied with it, thought it was pretty good. Then I saw everyone else’s. Let me tell you, it wasn’t a confidence booster. Was I stupid compared to these people? Maybe. They are older than me, so they’re probably going to academically know more than me, or their vocabulary is more advanced. Well, I thought my vocabulary was advanced, because I stopped reading the typical teen novels when I was 12, so I thought I was pretty smart. Which, I am compared to my classmates, but not to these people. They make me feel…not stupid, but maybe they make me feel uneducated, like I don’t know anything.
But, I do know stuff. Most of it won’t really help me in the academic world, but it will help me with people, which will probably serve me better than anything else I may learn. I mean, I didn’t even know what a mortgage was until the Shield explained it to our class. I was ashamed, I can tell you that much.
So, if I’m feeling intimidated when I’m reading comments, I don’t even want to know the reaction my post will get. What if they hate it? What if it isn’t as deep as everyone else’s? I don’t claim to be a shallow person, but I’m not exactly deep either. You have to catch me on the right day, because I don’t like thinking deep, because then I look at my life, and I see what’s wrong with it.
Only problem is, I’m not going to take the steps to fix it, becuase I can’t hurt people.