Selective Apologies, Reclusive Goodbyes

3 03 2008

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Listening to Panic! At the Disco’s “Build God, Then We’ll Talk” while writing this.  I feel horrible.  I’m tired, frustrated, my throat hurts from yelling, and my body aches.  It doesn’t get much worse than this.

No one really apologizes with sincerity anymore.  It’s forced words and a strange look when you finish.  We pick what we apologize for.  What will hurt our ego most?  Apologizing or not apologizing?  That’s the question and that’s what decides it.  We also apologize for our opinions alot, because nowadays, your opinions can endanger your life, your relationships, even your job.

I’ve moved around a lot.  I went to three different schools in less than two years, and then I got into high school, so that’s four schools in a year and a half.  I have been in the same school for two years and it’s pretty amazing, because I have friends, I have routines, and I love the house I live in.  There’s only one thing that hasn’t changed:

I still have to say goodbye.

Daniel told me that “People don’t see someone again because they choose to.  You are not forced to never see someone again.”

Partially true.  It also depends on lifestyle, but I truly believe once he’s gone, he’s gone and I’ll never speak to him again.  I may try to keep up with him, but when one person’s doing all the work, is it really worth trying to keep the relationship alive?

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7 responses

3 03 2008
bsinger1017

Wow. I never thought Daniel was so…deep? Haha I can’t think of any other words…

It makes sense though. If you want my opinion, as far as “keeping the relationship alive”, if you think it’ll end up making you happy in the long run, go for it. But if you’re almost certain it’ll never change, and that your destined to feel pain, then move on. Easier said than done, trust me…I know. But it can be done.

By the way, check out my website/blog if you want to read my essay on why Crooklyn is a shitty movie. haha

It’s kind of half assed, but whatever.

3 03 2008
curbxstomp

I read that, just a few seconds ago. It made me laugh, because I totally agree with you.
The thing is though, I don’t know if the relationship is going to make me happier. I can move on, that’s not the problem, but I’m still going to miss him. That’s my point.

4 03 2008
{ K }

take it easy girl 🙂

5 03 2008
pfckaram18

hey, babe.
yea, i kinda wounder the same thing. so much has gone on that you just have no clue how crazy i have gone. i need to talk to you…and SOON!!
i miss you. and life just isnt the same w/ out you. im for real. you mean the world to me. you know that…you always have and always will.
you are a peace of me and you have helped me through alot.
i cant wait to see you again…just one more yr. i love you so much, KAELIE G.!!!!

call me at my house. plzz. i have very important info i need to tell you. k? ok.

(never say bye…ower friendship will never end.)

till later.
love youz.

5 03 2008
curbxstomp

Call me please, because I tried several different numbers for you and couldn’t reach you. I’m on the verge of tears.

5 03 2008
Fluffyfan15

I definitely know what you mean about leaving people and trying to keep the relationship alive, and doing all the work for naught. My bff in Charlotte, NC, Amanda, and I had known each other since we were 6 years old. I moved when I was 10 and I know that 4 years isn’t realy that young, but we were like the best of friends and we said we would keep in touch forever and go to Europe when we grow up together. Anyway, we kept in touch for a long time, till about a year and a half ago. And she just quit calling me for a while and I tried to call her soooooo many times and she claimed she just “didn’t recognize my number.” So, in the long run I found out she was really a flake who didn’t care for me like I thought she did. Anyway, you never know if people are going to keep up with you when you are split up I guess. It’s sort of depressing, but life renews and new people come into your life. But, you’re right, the goodbyes never stop either, so its a win/lose situation. That’s life for ya. Well, you’ll get through the situation with Daniel however you can, and we’ll be here to support you however it turns out. I loves you!

7 03 2008
curbxstomp

@Fluffy: I know how you feel. My friends in North Carolina all turned out to be flakes too, so don’t worry yourself too much. I love you too!
Kaelie
p.s. as soon as I get published me+you= Italy

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