White Wall

10 04 2008

I don’t understand the concept of clearing your mind.  I just don’t; I can’t even explain it.  To me, it’s like trying to understand what eternity is like.  I cannot conjure that “white wall” of nothingness that symbolizes a blank mind.  It is almost impossible for me.

I have been trying to conjure that perfectly white wall all freaking day.  Because I dwell on lots of stuff, but right now I can only think about one thing, one person and it’s…killing me.  I get this soaring sensation in my stomach; so I’m trying to sit in class and concentrate, but my mind is definitely somewhere else.  Makes it hard to take a test when I’m smiling about something he said or trying not to count down the minutes until I get out of class.  Reintroduce the soaring sensations in my stomach.  Ugh.

Especially since I have a temper, that damned white wall would be useful if it would a-freaking-ppear.  In Taste of Night, Tekla has the troop trying to make and destroy walls with their minds.  I cannot do either of them.  (Of course, I’m talking figuratively, because no one can do that.)  In the same book (through the whole series), I find myself confused by the Tulpa, unable to understand.  How do you get your mind around a being solidified by thought, not science?  By birth from a mother?  Confusing, that is. 😛 I guess we can’t understand everything.

I’m still having soaring sensations.  Catch you guys later.

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2 responses

28 04 2008
taylorteach

It’s simply impossible to think of nothing. I think that’s why they say “om” when they meditate. Think of happy things (that aren’t hot guys, able to talk move or be interesting in any way.)

See, you can’t think of nothing. so think of peanut brittle.

29 04 2008
curbxstomp

@taylor: I’ve never had peanut brittle…is it any good? You make a good point, so I’m going to try that. I’ll think about rocks. 😀

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