Up until recently, I had never really thought about how a name changes or affects the person it is attached to. Kaelie means “pure” and my family understands how well that name “fits” me. I’m in no way perfect, pure, or anything like that, but certain aspects of my actions, thoughts, and behavior convey that last little bit of puerness that will be lost in the transition to adulthood.
I’ve posted about names before. Now that I’m getting older, I think about responsibilities coming towards me like a fast ball. Sometimes I even go into a panic. Fear accompanies every single one of these thoughts. Now that marriage is back on the radar, I have been thinking about the next 5 years, the next 10 years, the next 20. Am I going to spend that time bitter and alone, or will I find someone willing to marry me? (Trust me, I wouldn’t even marry me.) Will I find someone I’m willing to have children for? That is THE ultimate commitment, to me, anyway; not marriage. Having someone’s child… that binds ou to them through the child that is half of each of you.
Back to names (I swear, these tangents are killing me.) I think naming a child is up there in one of the most difficult decisions ever. (Number one is deciding to write or read, for I adore them both; naming a child comes after that.) Look at how hard it is to name my characters. I mean, you have nine months to name a baby. With a story, it’s not such a pressing issue. But, with a story, I have to be absolutely sure. Because once I use a name, it sticks. If I go back and change it, it confuses the hell out of me. With a kid, if you decide when they’re six, you don’t like their name, too BAD. You can’t change it without affecting them.
While children aren’t exactly on the radar (they’re on there. Ugh.) I have decided between a few names. Emma Lynn for my daughter and Elijah Lucas for my son. That, however, is assuming I’m having children and only having a son and a daughter. But, you never know, do you?