Curbxstomp & Ramxpage

25 04 2008

Many of you read about me and Ramxpage’s crippling fight about a month ago; I was broken up about it and very recently we have gone back to our old ways:  extremely long pone calls, hanging out at her house and eating like cows.  You can see the difference in my attitude, because I’m listening to music again, my writing has improved, and I have initiative I feel great.  Or felt anyway.

I had a great school day–Daniel was in a good mood, HSAP was over, and I was working on a new story.  then I came home. That’s when everything becomes a suck fest.  I’m going to glaze over the events, because no one would reallly understand anyway.  So, about eightish–after I pampered myself (the norm:  shaving, lotion, eyebrows plucked and all the while I was listening to Vanessa Carlton)–I couldn’t take it anymore.  I threw on public appropriate clothes (I was wearing booty shorts and a cami, and my mom nearly had a heart attack and made me put on “decent” clothes) and took my phone outside.

While I was at the dinner table, before this, I was fighting tears.  So, when I was more relaxed, I called Rachel, because no one understands more than she does.  So I sat in my driveway and called her.  I was doing okay for the first half of the conversation, but when she was asking me what was wrong, I started to tell her and then all hell broke loose.  In other words, I burst into tears.

I sat in my driveway, crying for more than twenty minutes, telling her everything.  Unlike some people that I confide in, she was completely indignant on my behalf and made me feel a lot better, and I love her for it.  She was completely outraged and she made me laugh to make me feel better.  It’s great to have a best friend who doesn’t question all that you do.  And, she didn’t want me to wear my boots, and I did anyway, because some guy asked me to and I should have listened to her.  Because now, my ankles are bleeding and I’m in serious pain.  Rachel ALWAYS knows best.

You know someone’s your best friend when they defend you even if you are wrong, but when it’s all over they say, “Uh, do you even know what you’re talking about?”

“Hello, how are you?  I think that we should be best friends.”
-“Hello, Yellow” by Backseat Goodbye 


Guest Speaker

29 10 2007

We had a guest speaker at our school today.  Apparently, he was really important: he has talked to a lot of famous people, the Congress, he’s very rich, he’s the top speaker in America.  All of the things coming out of his mouth were so true, it’s not even funny.  Winged Ham Ham, I think, was having difficulty with all of it.  There were a lot of people that kept being stupid, and it was making the speaker mad.  He was mostly talking about the effect of drugs and the impact of other things, and he talked about how 1/4 women will be sexually assaulted or raped, and then when we all go off to college, those chances become 1/2.  Yeah, you gotta love this country.  But, listening to him talk, it made me realize that unless we kick our butts into gear, this country will pull a Michael Jackson:  we will be unrecognizable in a decade or so, maybe less.  Hopefully not; hopefully we have time left to reform.

What bugs me most, I think, is the fact that their are people who don’t care.  They just go on with life and laugh at the government, when it is their government, and that they need to help.  The thing with non-voters is the fact that they claim they don’t care about the government, but at the same time, they complain about the government.  I don’t sympathize with them.  They chose not to vote, they chose not to have a say in their government.

There was this girl at the assembly, and she was crying because everything that that man was saying applied to her: she had a family death related to gang violence, and when he kept talking about the horrible things that happened, she couldn’t take it and she started crying.  Humans are the only creatures on earth that can weep.  Not in physical pain–any animal can do that.  No, I am talking about weeping when our heart breaks, or when our loved ones die.  We are also the only creatures that are conciously aware of death, but that’s a different topic.

The stories that he was telling us made me want to close my eyes and cry, because I know how these things happen, I don’t always know why, and that doesn’t really change anything.  Drugs are like currency nowadays.  These stories that he was telling us made me want to make someone hurt.  No one should have to watch their best friend have their brains blown out in front of them, no one should be cut by a skull fragment that was their best friend.  No one should have to bury their best friend for any other reason than old age, or disease.  But, even disease is a sad thing, because you would think with the technology nowadays, it’s a shame we can’t do anything for a lot of diseases.

He told this story about this girl who was raped at a party, and then the kids droppd her somewhere because they thought she was dying, and the host didn’t want her there when his mom got home.  They dropped her in a park, and left her there.  I don’t know if I would be able to sleep at night if I did something like that.  I already have difficulty swallowing the majority of the atrocities that others commit, but dropping a raped girl in a park in mid-January woudl break my mind.  I would never be able to do something like that, even if it was a question of jail for helping her.  I would make sure she was okay, and then, if I had to get into some trouble for being there and doing nothing, I would take it.  But, I would never let that happen to any of my friends.  I would make anyone who did hurt so bad that they would wish for an end.  I will not tolerate someone treating someone I love like that.