Curbxstomp & Ramxpage

25 04 2008

Many of you read about me and Ramxpage’s crippling fight about a month ago; I was broken up about it and very recently we have gone back to our old ways:  extremely long pone calls, hanging out at her house and eating like cows.  You can see the difference in my attitude, because I’m listening to music again, my writing has improved, and I have initiative I feel great.  Or felt anyway.

I had a great school day–Daniel was in a good mood, HSAP was over, and I was working on a new story.  then I came home. That’s when everything becomes a suck fest.  I’m going to glaze over the events, because no one would reallly understand anyway.  So, about eightish–after I pampered myself (the norm:  shaving, lotion, eyebrows plucked and all the while I was listening to Vanessa Carlton)–I couldn’t take it anymore.  I threw on public appropriate clothes (I was wearing booty shorts and a cami, and my mom nearly had a heart attack and made me put on “decent” clothes) and took my phone outside.

While I was at the dinner table, before this, I was fighting tears.  So, when I was more relaxed, I called Rachel, because no one understands more than she does.  So I sat in my driveway and called her.  I was doing okay for the first half of the conversation, but when she was asking me what was wrong, I started to tell her and then all hell broke loose.  In other words, I burst into tears.

I sat in my driveway, crying for more than twenty minutes, telling her everything.  Unlike some people that I confide in, she was completely indignant on my behalf and made me feel a lot better, and I love her for it.  She was completely outraged and she made me laugh to make me feel better.  It’s great to have a best friend who doesn’t question all that you do.  And, she didn’t want me to wear my boots, and I did anyway, because some guy asked me to and I should have listened to her.  Because now, my ankles are bleeding and I’m in serious pain.  Rachel ALWAYS knows best.

You know someone’s your best friend when they defend you even if you are wrong, but when it’s all over they say, “Uh, do you even know what you’re talking about?”

“Hello, how are you?  I think that we should be best friends.”
-“Hello, Yellow” by Backseat Goodbye 





The Grating Feeling Of Irritation

11 01 2008

So, I wouldn’t say that today was the suckiest day of my life, but I will say that I didn’t have much fun. The yearbook staff outing was…fun?  I had fun, me and Katie and everyone, but then I got home and everything was kind of like, blah, because my mom had to go to work. 

It doesn’t help that I really had my life put into perspective for me.  My friend just had a family emergency, and seeing her break down broke my heart.  I had been previously freaking out about leaving my cell phone at home, and upon hearing Tinesha’s story, I felt really really bad.  I know you can’t compare one persons troubles to anothers because certain things affect people differently.

And to make things so much better, I realized that a lot of people think that I don’t like them, and apparently I give the impression that I don’t.  No comment from fluffy and hamz, please, I don’t know how much I can take.  What really irritated me was I was listening to Ramxpage talk about this and I didn’t know if she was mad or not.  I know it ticked me off because I am so tired of dealing with people.  Rachel is my best friend and some guy she hasn’t even known a year was telling her that he would yell at me for yelling at her.  I was yelling at her in joking and he didn’t know that, but it really really ticked  me off, because I didn’t know who he thought he was. 

I just don’t want to get into a fight with Ramxpage about all of this.  I am going over to her house supposedly on Sunday, and I don’t want to talk about any of this because it makes me mad and sad and it makes just want to curl up and do absolutely nothing.  It also doesn’t help that I keep getting lied to by people I thought I knew and I am just so sick of everything.

I need to go watch Moulin Rouge or I’m going to blow my top.





Queen of a Broken Heart

12 11 2007

So, anyone want to tell me how to get over a broken heart? 

I think I know, and I am actually going to put it to the test this weekend when I go over to ramxpage’s.  I know that it isn’t three things: 1) watching sad romance movies and bawling your eyes out. 2) finding a new guy to cover all the hurt up (it’ll eventually resurface, people.  Trust me, I have definitely tried. Or 3) Sitting and staring blankly at a wall that has nothing on it except paint and scuff marks.

While I know that it isn’t these three things, I am pretty sure that it is this:

Watching people get their guts ripped out while eating Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream while drinking Pepsi Max. 

I hope that it is what that is, because I am putting it to the test this weekend.  Renting gory movies while eating at Ramxpage’s house is always amazing.  And then we will probably play World of Warcraft, which is just as healing as watching gore movies…

So, let’s hope this poor girl’s broken heart will feel better by next Monday.